Uphill Struggle

So I haven't taken the time to write down what I was feeling in awhile. Things have been crazy hectic and not looking so good. I've been working so hard at loosing weight and staying focused but I'm not seeing any results. I have been having almost constant pain the last few weeks and I'm beginning to worry that there might be more than just PCOS. I go back to the doctor in about 2 months so maybe we can figure out what's going on or I can just schedule surgery so I can finally get some relief.

Beginning of a Long Road

Today I started my long journey to a new me, however, it didn't go to well. I woke up feeling sick, no doubt probably due to a mixture of ruptured cyst and my period. I started the 10 minute trainer an absolutely loved it. About 8 minutes through with 2 exercises left I got dizzy and started throwing up. Needless to say that put a damper on the rest of the day.

Tomorrow is payday so I have to go grocery shopping and I'm doing a major change in diet and going to seriously buckle down on watching my calories.

Bumps in the Road

I have a serious problem with starting off so strong and focused and then just losing motivation and slacking off. I have let myself down majorly this weekend. I feel like I need a swift kick in my butt. I have barely exercised and hadn't touched my school work until today. I have never been one to believe in reading positive reinforcements to yourself everyday but I am honestly considering it.

Even with the fact of avoiding school the last 3 days I am almost done with the program and then its getting funding for my certification exam. Hopefully finishing up quicker will give me plenty of time to study and prepare for my final and certification. 

Harley is finally getting promoted June 1st. It has been much deserved for a long time. I am so proud of the person and soldier he is becoming. I know he's going to make a great leader and hopefully one day a great officer. In the short year he has been out of AIT and in an active unit he has received so much praise and recognition. We all can't help but brag about him :). I never imagined being a military wife until I was one at the age of 18 but now I can't imagine the day he retires and I'm living the civilian lifestyle again. It's going to be a major adjustment.

I have been avoiding the scales for months but I am breaking down on payday and buying one. I'm going to make some kind of visual aid to help keep me on track and keep me motivated. I don't care about how I look but about how I feel. I feel so uncomfortable and not like myself. I want my self confidence back and I'm going to make it happen. 

A Journey Of A Thousand Miles

OK...so here goes my first post (and maybe I can keep up with this blog). I have been searching for a outlet and way to talk about day to day life and well I ended up here. So here's a little bit about me.

I was born in Fairhope, Alabama, and my parents moved us back home to Falkville, Alabama when I was three months old. Falkville is a small little town where everybody knows everybody and their business but it will always be the place I call home and return to. Since I lived in the same area I went to the same school from my first day of kindergarten until the day I graduated. I was shy and I missed out on a lot..If I had the chance to go back I would. My 11th grade year I started dating Harley..April 17 of 2008 to be exact, and we've been together every since. We were married in August of 2009 and had a precious little miracle born on January 10, 2010. Harley enlisted in the U.S Army as a 25N and our new lives officially began. In March of 2011 we moved 1300 miles away to El Paso, Tx. It is nothing like home but we've made the best of it and some days I actually find myself enjoying it.

Harley III or as we call him monkey has been the best thing that has ever happened to us and that small little boy changed our lives dramatically in such a short time. I will never take a second with him for granted. It wasn't the best timing when he came along but I would never change it. I was a size 12 and around 135 when I got pregnant. I had a c-section due to some complications and became slightly anemic. In a matter of a week  after giving birth I dropped to a size 3 (not sure of the weight). Since we have moved we've been trying for a second baby but it's been a really rough road and will continue to be. After a few months of living here I noticed I was gaining weight so I started working my butt off to loose weight and nothing was working. In May I stopped having a period and it never came back. I was back and forth to Dr's offices for months with checkups, blood work, and ultrasounds and in January I was finally diagnosed with PCOS. My first doctor told me I would never have kids again and that I should have never been able to have kids. She referred me to an OBGYN for a consult to have a hysterectomy but my OB had hope for me. She said that was too extreme to give up on a 20 year old who had had a successful conception and full term pregnancy without help previously. She has me taking Ortho-Tri Cyclen for 6 months and then we'll be trying again. I am starting my last week on month 3 and so far I have had a period every month on time. And I am making slow progress in the weight loss department. (I'm still hoping to have a break through). My last doctors appointment I weighed in at 206 lbs. My goal is to have my weight down to 145. I am determined to do whatever it takes to loose this weight and keep it off. PCOS not only affects my fertility but my insulin levels as well. So I am doing this for my health, my esteem, my husband, and my kids. We all deserve it.

This blog is going to be about my journey as a mother, army wife, and as a woman with PCOS and trying to beat it.